This post is dedicated to my awesome mother. She makes amazing food but makes the least amazing jokes. She has the best short witty comebacks but the really long lectures. But that’s what makes her…well, my mom.
Every mother exhibits the same characteristics, especially Indian mothers. One way is that their love for you is directly proportional to whether you let her put oil in your hair. They come after you every day before a shower. Everyday.
” Riddhi, ikada ye. Thel laun ghe” ( Riddhi, come here. Put oil).
Once in a while, she stops, but only to resume more energetically the next week.
An Indian mother’s other life purpose it to make sure you eat properly. Like when I call her and say hello, the first thing she say’s is “ Jevali ka?” ( Did you eat?). She doesn’t say hello, she goes straight to food. But….. if you eat too much, you get yelled at.
“You want to get fat! *sarcasm kicks in* Go on. Eat. Keep stuffing. Azhun kha!(Eat more)!!”
And you can’t waste food. You waste food and your mother will start saying prices for everything she bought recently.
” Carrots were $5, the eggplants were $3 each, those eggs were $8, that tasty salad you ate had expensive lettuce. You know how much it cost? You think money comes for free?!?”
So you don’t waste food, but the leftovers go somewhere. You get up the next morning, thinking that your mom probably ate the leftovers because she loves you and will eat anything, but NO! She remixes the leftovers into today’s new food. Like if you left vegetables in yesterday’s curry, don’t worry, you’ll get a chance to eat them again in today’s fried rice. Never will Indian mothers let anything go to the trash. Especially food.
And ways she can make you eat the food varies( or will vary?) One day she’ll give out free science lessons, telling you that walnuts look like the brain, so they are good for the brain ( or actually scientific:Walnuts contain a number of neuro-protective compounds, including vitamin E, folate, melatonin, omega-3 fats, and antioxidants. Research shows walnut consumption may support brain health, including increasing inferential reasoning in young adults. By the way, this is copied from Mercola). Another day, she’ll threaten to leave because her kids can’t even eat her new creation ( beetroot spring rolls…..remember lightningsaph….6th grade lunch…..I also remember you liked them).
Another thing about Indian mothers is that you can forget anything about her like an anniversary or birthday (actually don’t listen to that…don’t forget her birthday or other things….ever), but you can never in your life forget her dabbas ( containers). Tupperware are like babies to them. You lose their Tupperware, consider yourself in hot water.
“You left your lunch box at school?”
“Money don’t grow on trees!Riddhi, I swear if I don’t get that dabba back, I’ll make you pay for it!”
My own mother labels her containers and tracks people, to make sure they bring back it back. And she wants them in perfect condition. Anything not perfect is not even worth( except if your mother is like is like mine, then she’ll find something to do with it….remember nothing goes to waste).
One day, I forgot my lunch box at school, and I rang the doorbell and she opens it from the other side. The first thing she asks is where is my dabba. I’m not even in the house and she says, ” Where is dabba? Open it and finish the food if anything is left”. Then I tell her that I forgot it and I’m sorry and I will get it the next day, and I’ll fish money from my piggy bank to get her a new one. But no. She says it’s not about the dabbas I forgot, it’s the fact that I forgot them ( does that make sense?). Because moms need that one reason to tell you 100 things that are wrong with you.
” You are not responsible, you’re lazy, you don’t wake up early, you don’t make your bed, you don’t take care of your face, you don’t eat properly, your clothes are not in the laundry, your closet is a crazy mess”, and so on. And yes those words are in quotes because that is what she said ( she literally just came here and fixed it so it matched her words).
Like her quote, everything needs to be perfect in the house. Hair, shoes, clothes, drawings, notes, room, desk, binder, nails, fridge, closet, bed, storage box, countertop, bathroom, living room, the drawer under that place somewhere, etc. My mom used to be like this, but then she just gave up. I guess she realized my siblings and I are just really lazy and unorganized. But that doesn’t mean she is. Her stuff is like crazy organized. We’re not even allowed to see it for her sanity.
One of her many things organized is her bag pantry. Don’t know what I’m talking about? Let me explain. A bag pantry is a place (usually in the laundry room or garage) that allows storage of hundreds of bags from grocery stores and malls.
Yeah, they’re great. Especially when it comes to letting people borrow dabbas or packing things like shoes. My mother will have a bag for everything. Dabbas are usually in bags from H-E-B, Whole foods, Trader Joes, Sprouts, etc. Shoes are in usually cheap plastic bags you get at Gandhi Bazaar. Clothes and important stuff are put in “branded” bags, like (insert some really cool brand here because I can’t think of one).
So Indian moms. Just amazing.
P.S. This post was incredibly long(955 at the end of this sentence). But I have many things left to say! Be prepared for Indian Moms Pt.2!971 words now.